This is a letter that I never thought I would choose to write. But, lately, (the past 3-4 years) I have been struggling with behaviors and moods that I can't explain. I have suffered from severe depression, thoughts of suicide, self esteem problems, marital problems, problems socializing; in all settings, including the work environment, etc. I have gone back and forth between concern for, or more accurately, fear of, your feelings in reading this letter and concern for my well being if I did not write, and send, this letter. At this point, obviously, I have concluded that my need to write this letter has sufficient value. I have not yet, as I sit here writing, determined the value of my need to send it. (If you are reading this now, then I guess, not only do I have a need to verbalize my thoughts, but I also have a need for you to hear them. Any need I have for a response from you is a separate issue that I have not gotten to at this point.)